For a long time, happiness felt like the wrong word. After loss, it can sound careless, unrealistic, or even disloyal. When you’re grieving, happiness isn’t something you chase – it’s often something you quietly avoid, unsure if you’re allowed to feel it anymore. And yet, grief has taught me more about happiness than anything else in my life. Not the loud, glossy version we’re often sold – but a gentler, truer kind.
Grief Changes the Meaning of Happiness
Before grief, happiness can look like milestones, achievements, plans coming together, or life moving forward as expected. Grief strips much of that away. It teaches you that happiness isn’t about fixing what’s broken or returning to who you were before. Because there is no going back. Loss reshapes you. What grief taught me is that happiness becomes less about more… and more about enough. Enough breath for today. Enough energy to get out of bed. Enough connection to feel less alone.
Happiness Becomes Smaller – and More Real
In grief, happiness often arrives quietly.
It shows up as:
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A moment of calm in the middle of a difficult day
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A shared smile that doesn’t need explaining
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The relief of being understood
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A deep exhale after holding your breath for too long
Grief taught me that happiness isn’t the absence of pain. It’s learning how to live alongside it. Both can exist together.
Grief Teaches Us What Truly Matters
Loss has a way of sharpening your values. You start to care less about what looks good on the outside and more about what feels honest on the inside. You notice what drains you, what nourishes you, and what no longer fits. This is something I see again and again in my work as a Bereavement Volunteer, Certified Coach, and Action for Happiness Facilitator.
People don’t want more after loss. They want meaning. They want connection. They want to feel like they matter.
Happiness Isn’t a Destination – It’s a Practice
One of the most important things grief taught me is that happiness isn’t something you arrive at one day and stay forever. It’s something you practise – gently, imperfectly, and at your own pace.
Sometimes that practice looks like gratitude. Sometimes it looks like boundaries. Sometimes it looks like rest. And sometimes it simply looks like surviving the day. All of it counts.
If You’re Grieving and Wondering About Happiness
If you’re reading this and thinking, “That feels very far away from where I am”, I want you to know this:
You don’t have to force happiness. You don’t have to search for silver linings. You don’t have to feel grateful for your loss.
Happiness after grief is not about betrayal. It’s about permission.
Permission to feel moments of light without guilt. Permission to laugh and cry in the same week. Permission to build a life that includes your loss, not one that pretends it didn’t happen.
A Gentle Closing Thought
Grief taught me that happiness isn’t something we find. It’s something we allow. Slowly. Kindly. In our own time. And if today all you can do is read these words, that is more than enough.
You matter.
Sharon Makin - Makin' You Matter ❤️
If this post resonates, you’re warmly invited to explore the rest of the blog or reach out for support. You don’t have to navigate grief or happiness alone.
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